i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
