shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I should be sponsored by Trojan
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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