Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
