Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
