whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
