I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
