did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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