Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
