haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
