i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
