your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
