hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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