Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
