We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
