As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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