Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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