I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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