he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
