thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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