ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
