If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
