coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
