But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Randomize
