Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
