Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
