Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
