Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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