Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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