It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
