he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
The power of my boobs compel you
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
