don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
