"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
