I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
wow bdsm is so cute
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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