I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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