well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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