wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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