did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
