end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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