He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
50% drunk capacity currently
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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