is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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