I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
