we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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