I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
