i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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