please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
