he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
