i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
