Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
