Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
