i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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